Outside
by Irish Cris
Summary: ONESHOT Beca has 4 wives but none of them seem to have noticed that she hasnt been around. Feeling unwanted and unneeded she does what she does best, she leaves. She knows when she is unwanted and even though her heart shatters when she walks out the door. Inspired by a dream and by the song by Staind


**AN: So I apologize in advance but this is angsty as hell. This came plot bunny came to me as a dream, probably because the last thing i remember that night was the watching the clip of Beca walking away from Chloe in PP2 before hitting the bear trap.**

**ANYWAY... this is an AU where multiple marriages are perfectly legal. I own nothing but the AU idea other wise sadly the characters belong to their rightful owners and i'm just playing with them.**

It was the youngest of them who had noticed that the short moody older brunette had been more aloof than normal and rarely seen by any of them. That the older woman's smile to her wives reached her eyes less and less. The youngest of them all had made it a point to search for and seek out the older woman when she noticed that she was gone for longer and longer periods, always claiming that she was needed at the studio and the only who thought to question this was the youngest of them all. So the youngest waited. Her patience was rewarded a few hours later when the shorter brunette walked in the house and headed straight to her room. Her room was an old master bedroom that had been converted into a home studio that also had a bed in it for when she hadn't wanted to disturb her wives when she worked late on whatever hot project the label had her on. The youngest followed her and was ready to confront the older woman. However when she stepped into the older woman's room her heart clenched painfully, the room had been stripped bare. All the personal items had been removed, empty frames hung on the wall, the pictures left in a pile on the now empty desk that once held sound boards and mixers. The older woman was packing what looked like the last of her clothes into a duffel bag. She backed out of the room and sat at the kitchen table waiting. The older woman left and came back in again and stopped when she seen the younger woman at the table watching her with sad eyes.

"Beca, you're leaving us aren't you." The younger woman stated brokenly.

The shorter brunette looks at her younger wife with a sad smile as familiar lyrics begin in her head once again.

A_nd you, Can bring me to my knees_

_Again, All the times_

_That I could beg you please_

_In vain, All the times_

_That I felt insecure_

_For you, And I leave_

_My burdens at the door_

"I know when I'm not needed or wanted Em. You're the only one who notices whether I'm around or not. Not even the woman who calls herself my best friend has noticed my absence, the woman who was my first wife. The woman who vowed to never make me feel forgotten, has done exactly that. Do you remember the last time all of us were intimate? It was 3 months ago Em."

Then both women's mind flashed to that memory. Emily and Beca had had some one on one time between the two of them. Beca had been working on laying down a new track when Emily had come into the room and sat on the shorter woman's lap. She had told Beca that she had missed her and wanted cuddles. Beca rolled her eyes on principle but a pleased smile was curling her lips as she saved what she had been working on and wrapped her arms around the younger girl. Their cuddles turned kisses turned make out session, quickly became a lovemaking session between the two of them. The two brunettes lay wrapped up in each others arms basking in their post coital glow. The shorter of the two enjoying it a little more than her taller counterpart. It had been too long since she had felt wanted or needed by any one of her wives. Soon their bubble was burst.

"Found them." Aubrey called out to the other two. "Seems Beca and Legacy had some fun without us ladies. That doesn't seem very fair does it, I think Beca needs to be punished for her selfishness."

Beca was too stunned to say anything and by the time her brain caught up and could form any words she had already been picked up and carried to the shared bedroom and tied to the headboard. She had endured a night of teasing that was painful enough that there was no pleasure in it for her after about the third time of being denied her release. If she hadn't been gagged she would have used her safe word that night. Oh sure they all took turns with her body that night but they just fucked her, there was no intimacy to it. She held back her tears and let her body respond to the stimulus it was receiving and eventually fell off the edge. Once everyone was deeply sleeping, she slipped out of the bed and cried in the shower in her studio. From that night on she slept in the studio and no one seemed to notice that she never actually stayed in the bed. She had made a point of either working in the home studio or being at work early in the mornings but even then it still should have been noticeable that she hadn't spent the night in the marriage bed.

_But I'm on the outside_

_I'm looking in_

_I can see through you_

_See your true colours_

_'Cause inside you're ugly_

_You're ugly like me_

_I can see through you_

_See to the real you_

"After that night I've been sleeping in the studio ever since. I've come home from work late since then and can smell the sex in the air and when I look in the bedroom, all of you are curled up together fast asleep. No one has waited up for me in I don't know when. But when Aubrey was gone for 3 days it was like the end of the world for the rest of you. Y'all moped around and on the night that she came back the three of you were awake and waiting. Remember when I was gone out of town for work for two weeks...two weeks Em and I came home to a dark and quiet house Not one of you waited up for me, but I could tell that the four of you had a fantastic time that night. It was that night I realised that I wasn't needed and I haven't felt wanted by them in I don't remember when. For crying out loud the only reason they touched me three months ago was to punish me because I had sex with you with out them. That I dared to touch my wife without them, yet its OK for the rest of you to fuck like bunnies when I'm not around. They don't seem to care or notice that I'm not around. I'm not sure what hurts more to be honest. What I do know is that I can't live like this anymore. The studio found me a place and I've slowly been moving my stuff into it for the last month, and again not one of you noticed." Beca stopped to blink back tears that wanted to fall. She quickly left the room.

From inside her jacket Beca pulled out a thick legal sized envelope and placed it on the desk in what was once her room, along with her wedding rings. Beca shut the door softly and made her way back to the kitchen doorway. Her heart broke when she saw the younger girls face. She took a deep breath before she turned around and walked to the front door.

"I love you Legacy and if you ever need me I'm just a phone call away." Beca stated just loud enough for Emily to hear and quickly left the house hopped in her jeep and drove away.

_All the times, That I felt like this won't end_

_It's for you, _

_And I taste, What I could never have_

_It was from you _

_All those times, That I cry _

_my intentions, Full of pride _

_But I waste, More time than anyone_

Emily sat at the table crying after Beca had left. She got up and went to the bedroom and dug through the hamper and found the oversized hoodie that she had stolen from Beca shortly after they had married. Beca would huff and puff and act all put out that Em had stolen it, but she always made sure to wear it every few months so it would smell like her for the younger girl. Emily then went back to the bedroom that used to be Beca's studio and curled up on the bed hugging the pillow to her chest. At some point she had cried herself to sleep. It was hours later when she woke and could hear that the other three were in the kitchen talking and laughing. She didn't care that her face was tear stained or that her eyes were still slightly swollen from crying, she walked into the kitchen and knew the moment that her three wives noticed her face as the conversation died mid sentence.

"Oh my god, Emily what's wrong?, What happened?"

They rushed to hug her and the younger girl flinched back from them holding her hands out to ward them off.

"You three need to go to Beca's room." She replied in a dead tone of voice that was hoarse from crying earlier.

"If she did something to hurt you I, Swear.."

"For fuck sake, Shut up Aubrey!" Emily snapped. "Just go to her damn room like I said. You will find your answers there."

The other three stood stunned as the youngest of them never swore. The redhead peered at the younger girl as if trying to obtain answers from just staring at Emily.

"Chloe, please. Just go. Take Stacie with you."

Aubrey huffed and grabbed each of their hands before she marched out of the kitchen. Emily grabbed a tumbler and poured herself a double shot of Beca's whiskey and sat down. She didn't have to wait for long when she heard the gasps and the yelled "What the Fuck is this Shit?!" from Aubrey. Emily tossed the whiskey back, wincing at the burn and poured herself another two fingers. She stared into the glass as she waited for the other three to come back.

_But I'm on the outside_

_I'm looking in_

_I can see through you_

_See your true colours_

_'Cause inside you're ugly_

_You're ugly like me_

_I can see through you_

_See to the real you_

"Did you know about this?" Aubrey demanded as soon as she came back in the room waiving the stack of papers in her hand. "Did you know that she had filed for divorce?"

Emily's head snapped up at the word divorce. "She filed for divorce?" she whispered brokenly. She let her gaze flit from each woman. Chloe looked heart broken, Stacie seemed sad but indifferent, while Aubrey was vibrating with anger. Chloe sat down beside the young brunette and wrapped her arm around the girl.

"She left a letter for you Em." Chloe stated softly as she passed the younger girl a sealed envelope with her name on it.

Emily quickly tore it open and began reading out loud.

_**My dearest Legacy,**_

_**I know that out of the four of you, that my leaving will have hurt you the most, and for that I am so incredibly sorry. If someone had told me 5 years ago that I would be feeling like this, I would have punched them in the mouth and shut them out of my life. Turns out I guess I should have punched myself. **_

_**One of the happiest memories I have is of you Emily. When you agreed to date me and the other 3. The other happiest memory I have is of you agreeing to marry me and the others. I hadn't really realised that you would be my down fall. I was so in love that I failed to notice the little things, and when I did I shrugged them off thinking I was being paranoid and overthinking things. **_

_**What I didn't realise was that I had brought home and married the perfect replacement for me. You are everything that I can never and will never be. You my love are the perfect person to sit and talk fashion with Stacie. You never argue with Aubrey, never causing her to stress vomit. You match Chloe's sunny exuberance, the complete contrast to my grouchy ' rebel alt girl' attitude. You mesh with those three in way that I never could. Both Stacie and Aubrey were constantly trying to change how I look, how I dress, trying to make me fit into the image that they wanted me to be. Aubrey and I constantly butt heads over well let's be real, everything. My opinion always seems to be wrong and everything always seems to be my fault. Chloe, what can I say about my first love? The woman who managed to get behind ever single wall and defense I had protecting myself. I know that even someone as positive and happy as her would get frustrated and exhausted with me, it's really no wonder she stopped noticing that I wasn't around. Aside from leaving you Emily, she's the one that hurts the most. She forced her way in, made promises that in the end she couldn't keep, and now? Now she's just another name on the list of people who have left me. I may be the one who is walking away from this marriage on paper, but the three of them walked away from me a long time ago. It hurts too much to continue like this.**_

_**Sadly even you Emily, you never seemed to notice that I had pulled away, or if you did you never said anything and now, now it's too late. I noticed all the times that they would draw you away from me if we were spending time together. In the beginning I fought against it some but when I noticed the trend I pulled back. When I noticed the trend, all my insecurities and self doubts came roaring back. I may be a famous music producer and DJ, but apparently that's all I'm good at because my own wives can't seem to be able to be around me or want to spend time with me when I am available. **_

_**Aubrey goes to a business conference for 3 days and you all mope around like it's the end of the world. The night she came back, y'all waited up for her and welcomed her home with open arms. I was gone to the LA office for 2 weeks and when I came home, I was welcomed by a dark house and the smell of hours old sex. That was the first time I spent the night sleeping in the home studio. Hell they don't even want to be intimate with me. Last time that happened was 3 months ago when they tied me to the damn bed and gagged me because I dared to make love to you without them. I would have used my safe word that night if Aubrey hadn't gagged me, That was a step too far, her taking away my choices like that. So I retreated into my head and let my body respond. When it was done and over with i curled up on my side on the edge of the bed while the four of you cuddled together. Once I was sure that you were in the deepest sleep I got up and cried in the shower, washing away the feelings of utter shame and failure. It was that night that cemented it all for me that I was nothing more than a toy, that I wasn't actually needed or wanted, because if I was, all of you would have noticed the look in my eyes that night and every day there after. The broken look that I see in the mirror every time I look into it. So I found a place and for the last month I have been slowly moving all my things out of the house and into the new place. And of course not one of you noticed it happening.**_

_**Tell Aubrey to not bother in trying to track me down because you won't find me. No one other than my boss knows where I'm living and for security reasons he won't divulge that information. As of today they have put me on a paid leave of absence. In fact by the time you read this I won't even be in the country. Tell them to sign the papers. I'm not asking for anything from any of you other than to not contest the divorce. You can keep the house, I may have bought it for all of us and once upon a time it was home, but it hasn't been my home for longer than I'd care to admit, all I ask is that anything that I have made from my career be left alone. I worked hard for that and If you try to come after it, well lets' just say the studio has a law firm on retainer and I have complete access to them if needed should any of you contest the terms.**_

_**If you ever need me Legacy, I'm only a phone call away, once I text you my new number as I'm changing this one.**_

_**All my love,**_

_**Beca.**_

Emily broke down sobbing once again once she finished reading the letter. She refused to look at any of her wives and ran from the kitchen. She ran to Beca's old room and slammed the door, locking it. She looked around and saw the scattered pictures and found one of the two of them. They looked so happy in the picture. She started to go through the other pictures and looked at them carefully and suddenly she noticed what Beca had been trying to say to her earlier that day. The smile she had on her face, in the few pictures of her actually smiling, never reached her eyes. Her smirk was actually self deprecating. In the pictures that had been taken with in the last three months, Beca isn't looking at the camera so you can't see her eyes. Emily then noticed that the majority of the pictures taken with in the last 6 months, very few of them had Beca in them. It was mostly just pictures of herself, Chloe, Aubrey and Stacie. No wonder Beca felt so unloved by them. She had been busting her ass at her career, supporting them when they were still trying to establish themselves in their own careers. Hell if it hadn't been for Beca, Emily wouldn't be under contract as songwriter for the same studio. Beca told her that she owed her producing career to Emily agreeing to record the demo of the song that helped them win Worlds, which in turn then was recorded by Jessie J. That original song launched Beca's producing career. Emily curled up on the bed holding on to a picture of her Chloe and Beca as she cried herself to sleep.

_All the times, That I've cried_

_All that's wasted_

_It's all inside, And I feel all this pain_

_Stuffed it down_

_It's back again_

_And I lie, Here in bed_

_All alone_

_I can't mend, But I feel_

_Tomorrow will be okay_

It had been two months since the day that Beca had walked out of the house and left the divorce papers. Stacie had shrugged and signed them right away. When questioned about it she shrugged and stated that she would never beg someone to stay with her, not when she could replace them in a heartbeat. Chloe had to carry Emily out of the room as the younger girl screamed profanities and tried her best to attack the other brunette. Shortly afterwards Aubrey signed the papers as well. Both Emily and Chloe refused to sign them. For the last month Chloe had done nothing but think back on her marriage and was appalled at herself in how she had treated the small DJ. It was quickly followed by anger at her other two wives in how callous and how easy it was for them to give up the DJ. How they were able to manipulate the attention away from Beca without her realising that's what they were doing. Chloe didn't know if she would ever forgive herself for allowing that to happen. Emily and her talked for hours on end and realised that Beca had been the glue holding them all together or at least she had been. The two of them ended up serving the other two with divorce papers of their own two weeks later. They wanted nothing from either Aubrey or Stacie. They had packed up their belongings and moved everything they wanted into storage and were staying at a hotel for the time being. Aubrey pulled in some favours and fast tracked both divorces and had them finalised with in weeks instead of months.

Once everything was finalised, Emily decided enough was enough and stormed into the studio and confronted Jesse who was Beca's manager.

"Where is she Jesse? Don't fucking test me, where the hell is my wife?" Emily demanded

He studied her for a moment before sighing. "I don't know Em, she didn't tell me. The only person who knows where she is, is Keegan. Tell me something though, did you and Chloe sign the papers?" When she just stared at him he gave her a pleading look to answer the question.

Emily deflated some as the anger left her. "No we didn't. The other two practically signed right away. Chloe and I ended up serving them with divorce papers as well. We moved out and are staying at a hotel for now."

A small smile graced his lips as he handed over an envelope that was addressed to both her and Chloe.

"I swear on my movie collection I have no idea where she is Em, but Keegan said that if either of you showed up I was to give you this."

Emily opened the envelope and read the note.

**_Legacy, Red, if you are reading this than you two have done the right thing. Enclosed are two open ended tickets to where Reggie is along with access to her accommodations. Go get your wife and bring back my number 1 senior producer and not the mopey broken hearted mess that left here. Tell her that I need her to come back to stop me from killing that useless tit Dax._**

Emily giggled as she finished reading the note and quickly thanked Jesse who waved her off and simply asked her to bring his best friend home happy. Emily raced back to the hotel and told Chloe to pack for tropical weather that they were leaving. Chloe was confused but did as she was told and watched as Em grabbed the finalised divorce papers to pack in her suitcase. Two hours later they were at the airport going through customs and being taken to a private jet. Turns out the label owned their own jet.

"Where are we going Em and why?" Chloe finally asked once they were in the air.

"To Ibiza. And we are going to be with our wife."

Beca was standing on the deck leaning against the railing staring out at the ocean. She was singing along to the Staind song that had been on a constant loop since that day she left Emily crying in the kitchen. She whipped her head around when she heard two other voices that she thought she wouldn't hear for a long time harmonise with her on the final chorus. The two women slowly approached her, engulfing her in a bear hug sandwich and suddenly it didn't matter anymore because for the first time in almost a year, Beca felt like she was home.

The three of them talked over dinner. Emily handed the papers to Beca and advised her that they had also divorced the other two. When Beca asked why, it was Chloe who explained that when the other two were able to give her up without a second thought, she realised they weren't the people she thought they were. Chloe then also explained that her and Aubrey married because it was expected of them. They had been together all though high school and had known each other since they were children. After their first year of college they had gotten married in front of their families. It wasn't until their senior year that Chloe fell in love with a moody alt girl with stormy eyes and shortly afterwards Aubrey fell for Stacie. Aubrey wasn't willing to divorce so she was the one who suggested the open marriage. Chloe was ecstatic because it allowed her to pursue Beca and the more she got to know the tiny DJ the further in love she fell. Come Beca's junior year Chloe had asked her to marry her. Aubrey and Stacie had already been married for a year at this point. Chloe on the other hand wanted to make sure that it was the right step for her and Beca. The four of them had had multiple trysts and it had seemed like the sex between them was great that the chemistry was there, but more often than not it was usually just Chloe and Beca, Stacie never tried to join them unless Aubrey was involved. Chloe stated that right there should have been a red flag for her. Then their senior year came and they met sweet Emily. Chloe could see the instant chemistry that was between the young freshman and her wife but knew that Beca was trying to be respectful and refrain from doing anything with the innocent girl. It wasn't until one night while the other Bellas were out and Stacie was with Aubrey that Emily came to them conflicted about her feelings for the two of them. They had then sat down and discussed everything. The three of them began spending more and more time together and eventually once Chloe and Beca graduated, Beca asked Emily to be their girlfriend.

Emily then began to explain that she was so happy when it was the three of them and the reason she agreed to date the other two was that she thought it was the only way she could keep Chloe and Beca.

Beca in turn explained that the only reason she married the other two when she married Emily was to make them as in her and Emily, a packaged deal, that they couldn't have one without the other. Seems that Aubrey only wanted to marry Emily at first. That should have been my first sign that this wasn't meant to be huh? Beca had asked rhetorically.

"Oh Becs, that's where you're wrong baby." Chloe began in a soft voice. "Things between the three of us, when it was just the three of us have always been solid. While you were gone it was always Emily and I doing things together while Aubrey and Stacie were off doing whatever. The only time all four of us did things together, to be honest was, well, sex. In the beginning I'm sure there was some love there but it was you Bec's that was holding the five of us together. Aubrey and Stacie were always jealous of you. No I'm serious." Chloe insisted at Beca's scoff of disbelief. "Stacie had confessed that she had been wanting our Emily and was pissed that Em ignored her advances in favour of spending time with you. Whenever they wanted to spend time with her, Emily here always wanted you included as well. They finally resorted to telling her that you would be joining later and when later never came they always told her that you were busy at work. I overheard them shortly after they had signed the papers that the only reason they agreed to the marriage with you was because of Emily. If you had asked them separately, they would have never agreed. They were trying to figure out how to convince Emily to sign the divorce papers and stay with them. Aubrey is just pissed that she now has to go back to her family and admit to them that she failed. My family already knows what happened. I had a very serious discussion with mama, and well you know mama has always loved you, she cussed me out and was so disappointed in me for allowing Aubrey to steam roll over me. To be honest the woman that Aubrey is today, she's not the same woman I married when we were 19. She has become so selfish and arrogant that I don't recognise her. I don't know if that's because of her job or Stacie's influence but either way I'm done with her." Chloe got up from her seat and crouched down in front of the tiny DJ. "I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am for my part in hurting you. If after all this you still want me to sign the papers, I will but I wanted one last chance to see you and explain everything, and honestly, to beg for your forgiveness. I don't know how yet but one day I will make it up to you Bec's. You are the love of my life, I don't know how to be Chloe without you. You helped me face my fear and finally graduate from college and then just when I didn't think you could be more amazing, you brought me this wonderful woman as well."

Beca sat there for a moment, tears streaming down her face as she stared down at her first love, searching those cerulean blue eyes that she has loved since she first saw them at the activities fair her freshman year. She saw the regret the pain but she also so the utter adoration and love that Chloe had always shown her. Beca cupped her Chloe's cheeks and claimed her wife's lips in the sweetest kiss they had to date. When Beca broke it, Chloe wrapped her arms around Beca's waist and just held on to the smaller woman. Beca looked over at Emily and waved the younger woman to her.

"I'm sorry Princess, forgive me?" Beca whispered.

Emily let out a choked sob at the endearment that Beca normally used in private and wrapped her arms around Beca's neck.

"Never Ever do that again! Never leave us again Becs. I can't go through this again. "

"I'm not going anywhere my loves. You two are my heart and my home."

"Oh and Keegan says that you have to come back soon to keep him from killing Dax."

Beca threw her head back let out a full belly laugh for the first time in months. After a few minutes she convinced them to move to the oversized couch where they could cuddle and watch movies or tv. It was going to be a long road of healing between the three of them but for the first time in almost a year, Beca felt wanted, needed and most importantly, she felt loved again.

_But I'm on the outside_

_I'm looking in_

_I can see through you_

_See your true colors_

_'Cause inside you're ugly_

_You're ugly like me_

_I can see through you_

_See to the real you_


End file.
